Now that Beyonce announced that she's preggers at the VMAs last night and the whole world seems to be beaming with excitement I figured this is the perfect time to FINALLY blog about my decision about not wanting to have children.
image via Huffington Post
I've been wanting to do this post for about 9 months now (ha, that's long enough to make a baby!). But I figured that this is a good a time as any!
We're approaching our three year weddingd anniversary in several days. All of the couples that we know that have gotten married around the same time we did have had their child, or are divorced already. Some have had their baby and divorced and some have already remarried and expecting. And some are just expecting. Some are on their 2nd child! (You all know who you are! - wink, wink)
Wanting kids isn't just the social norm, it's said to be a biological imperative. I hear that parenthood so fulfilling and the greatest job in the world. I'm just not so sure it's for us.
Working at Hallmark Cards where an average of 10 women are preggo at ALL times I'm asked almost weekly of when I'm starting a family.
I'm told, "but you'd have such great kids!" And, "but you'd be such a great mom!" Yes, I must admit that I wonder what talented cutie genius my husband and I would have and what craft activities me and my child will do together.
I'm told, "you'll change your mind." Well, maybe so. I'm no spring chicken though. With my 37th birthday several days away I need to make up my mind sooner than later. And this is not a decision to rush into!
Or I'll hear "it'll be different when you have your own." My house isn't the place where kids come and hang out, nor am I Auntie or Godmother to any crumb snatcher that comes my way (I'm a loving Aunt to my 13-year-old nephew). I'm sure I'll have mad love for my baby. But I'm not going to pop one out to check and see.
image via Essence
I simply cannot connect to the thought of motherhood and a human being growing in my tummy (among other gross baby things). All of the crafty blogs turned mommie blogs and all of the gals that I know that have had children has not turned on the deep desire of motherhood for me.
I was once embarrassed to say that we didn't want to have children. Being a woman and admitting that you don't want children is still taboo. That's why people get married right? To start a family? Well, I got married to spend the rest of my life with the man I love.
I'm totally comfortable with giving up my spot in the blogosphere and become the best mommie ever. Or even attempting to do it and have it all. But I'm just not feeling putting Mommy on my resume.
I find that people are more supportive nowadays. But I always feel like someone thinks something is wrong with me and my decision, especially since I'm married and being childless by choice and not circumstance.
image via PewResearchCenter Publications
Since the dawn of birth control, more women have opted against having kids. Nearly one-in-five American women now ends her childbearing years without giving birth, up from one-in-10 in the 1970s, according to a 2010 Pew study.
There is a growing community of childfree folks. So am I on trend? LOL... But there is no scientific reasoning of why some women feel a seemingly innate, almost primal desire to procreate, and others don’t.
I thought I was going to hear some ticking time-bomb during my 35th year on this earth telling me it's time. I don't hear anything yet. But I have 3-5 years left to hear something!
SOUND OFF WITH YOUR COMMENTS!